


under the blooming moon (holding your hand, we can take it slow if you want)

by flyingoverthehorizon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Anxious Jongin, Gray-Aromanticism, Gray-Asexuality, Human Sehun, M/M, werewolf jongin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23041072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingoverthehorizon/pseuds/flyingoverthehorizon
Summary: This whole imprinting thing was never supposed to happen to Jongin. He never thought it would be something he had to deal with. And especially not imprinting on his best friend. Who also doesn’t know that imprinting is a thing.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 8
Kudos: 85
Collections: PROJECT 94 Round 2





	under the blooming moon (holding your hand, we can take it slow if you want)

**Author's Note:**

> for prompt #R2110
> 
> title from woosung's song "moon"
> 
> please note that jongin is on the ace and aro spectrums. his needs in a relationship might not match societal norms when it comes to romantic and sexual expressions of love. a non-romantic and non-sexual relationship is not less valid than a sexual and/or romantic one.
> 
> thank you to the mods for hosting this round! i think you are great! also thank you K and N for always hyping me even when you have no idea what i am rambling about <3

It happens when Jongin sees Sehun for the first time in over a week. They had both been busy on their own ends and hadn’t been able to hang out, and texts had been sparse as well. Somehow something had shifted in those ten days apart.

As soon as Jongin opens the door to his apartment on the Saturday afternoon and lays eyes on Sehun his entire world seems to come to a stop and a rush of emotions runs through his body. He feels as if he’s vibrating with how his entire being seems to concentrate on Sehun. He’s frozen in the spot for what seems like an eternity. His thoughts spin and he struggles to form any coherency in them. 

He has known Sehun for a few years now and he had not expected to imprint on him, and certainly not after such a long time. 

Sehun looks at him with a hint of concern. “Are you okay?”

Jongin startles and with a nod lets Sehun in. “Sorry,” he mumbles. His head is still ringing with the rush of hormones and the beginning realizations of what imprinting on his best friend means. 

He must not have been very convincing because Sehun gently puts a hand on his shoulder and tries to catch Jongin’s gaze. Jongin almost jumps at the touch. He’s hyper aware of Sehun’s hand and he’s grateful for the layer of fabric between his skin and Sehun’s touch. 

With a deep breath he gathers himself and meets Sehun’s gaze. “I’m fine, just a little frazzled still.” Technically it isn’t a lie. This last week has been rough. 

Sehun seems satisfied with that answer and pats Jongin gently on his shoulder before letting his hand slip away. He is unaware of how Jongin’s mind is reeling with everything that happened in the last few moments, not helped with how Sehun’s scent foggs his mind. 

There are benefits to being a werewolf, but there are also very real drawbacks. Jongin has decided to do the best with the hand he has been dealt in life. The community is a great thing, the heightened senses are generally great and he usually loves the shapeshifting part. Less great are things such as imprinting and keeping the werewolf identity secret from most. 

Sehun knows about Jongin being a werewolf. It doesn’t really play any part in their friendship other than when Jongin is unable to hang out due to community obligations. Sehun is generally well informed about that part of Jongin’s life, but Jongin has never really told Sehun about imprinting. It has never been something he felt like he should tell him, because why would it ever apply to Sehun? Heck, he didn’t even expect to experience it himself. But now it does, and Jongin doesn’t know what to do. If he tells him it is likely to be a shock and it might put a strain on their friendship. Jongin doesn’t want to risk it. But he can’t deny the imprint. 

Of course, imprinting doesn’t have to mean romantic feelings. It can be just a deep friendship. Jongin knows of some imprints that have resulted in deep and meaningful relationships that are purely platonic. Still, the norm is romantic companionship. And then there is always the risk of a fall out if the expectations are too different. But while that is true for most relationships, the very strong attachment that imprinting leads to often means a complete cutting off, never-seeing-each-other-ever-again type of thing if it doesn’t work out. 

He lets out an inaudible sigh. He shouldn’t be thinking about this right now. He needs peace and quiet to sort out his thoughts, and right now his best friend is here for them to spend some much anticipated time together.

Jongin trails after Sehun into the small living room. Sehun slumps down on the sofa and starts to pull out snacks from his bag. 

“Intense week in your community?” Sehun asks even if he knows the general stuff already. He knows Jongin will want to talk about it, have a chance to rant and get things off his chest.

“Yeah, there were some complaints that apparently hadn’t reached the council but instead had gottent lost on the way that had made some people really upset. So now we had to figure out both how to not make the council go into defence mode and calm the community members that felt wronged. All while dealing with the original complaints.” 

Jongin wasn’t part of the decision making process within the community. That was a position you were elected for. Instead he volunteered as an organizer of the meetings, finding and booking venues to host meetings in, preparing light food and drink as well as making sure the technology part worked. That on top of having a daytime job as a bookstore clerk. 

Sehun had also been swamped with school and his part time job. He only worked ten hours a week, but when homework piled high it was more than enough to eat up his free time. 

Jongin sits down next to Sehun, but leaves enough space so that he won’t feel too overwhelmed. It is a small sofa so even if they are technically next to each other they are still at each end of it. 

Sehun rips open a bag of chips and reaches into it. “Tell me more. Were the complaints about a serious issue or was it just some annoyance that has been building over time?”

Sehun really knows how to make Jongin comfortable and help him unwind when things get stressful. That’s probably why they are best friends. They know each other really well. 

Jongin lets out a sigh. “It actually is pretty serious. There has been issues with one of the apartment buildings so their rage is completely justified, but now it is getting directed towards the council who are supposed to help fix the problem. So they go into defence mode because the anger seems disproportionate. But because there is no one to actually blame for the mistakes the anger that has to have an outlet somewhere ends up just causing more problems. It is like a downward spiral of bad.”

This always happens. Sehun opens the door for Jongin to speak what’s on his mind and the words just spill out. Jongin needs to talk about things to process them and doing that is always easiest with Sehun. 

Maybe this is why he imprinted on his best friend. But why now? 

Jongin pushes that thought away. He can’t think about that now. 

He forces himself to relax his body and ignore the buzzing feelings in his limbs. 

Not. Right. Now.

They keep talking and Sehun gets to vent some of his frustrations from the last week and a half. Sehun doesn’t talk as much as Jongin does, but they both thrive off of having these sit downs to talk about anything on their minds. 

But today Jongin can’t really relax. He feels twitchy and his heart is beating too fast. He feels like he’s sweating a lot and there are butterflies in his stomach. He hopes Sehun doesn’t notice, or at least doesn’t comment on it because Jongin is not sure how he would respond. 

They decide to put on a movie and Sehun chooses one that Jongin has already seen. It turns out to be a great thing because it gives Jongin some time to process what is happening in his head and body. 

But after the movie is finished he can’t say he’s much wiser than he was two hours ago. He suspects he will have problems falling asleep tonight.

After Sehun leaves tries to make a mental map of the situation. 

Things he knows:  
1) He has imprinted on Sehun  
2) Sehun is his best friend  
3) Imprinting doesn’t have to mean a romantic relationship  
4) Imprinting also doesn’t have to mean they remain friends  
5) Imprinting doesn’t go away  
6) Imprinting only happens once  
7) Relationships without imprinting are still possible

Things he doesn’t know:  
1) His own needs for the imprint to not cause distress  
2) Sehun’s feelings for him  
3) Sehun’s reaction to imprinting in general  
4) Sehun’s reaction to Jongin imprinting on him  
5) How to bring the issue up

Jongin groans as he throws himself down on his bed. Why did this have to happen? His head had started hurting when he finally was able to relax after Sehun had left. Being on high alert with his head swimming with everything Sehun, his smell, his presence, his voice has really taken it out of Jongin. He just wishes it would make falling asleep easily.

He decides that going out for a run tomorrow is a good plan. Blowing off some energy and hopefully helping his body feel normal again. 

Jongin has never been one for listening to music when he runs. Partially because he rarely runs in human form, but also because the sounds of his feet, or paws, hitting the ground becomes the beat that transfixes his mind. 

He’s driven out to the woodland outside the city, hiked along a track for a couple hundred meters and then taking off into the wilderness, changing into wolf form as soon as he was out of sight from the track. 

His dark brown coat blends in with the forest and if he is spotted it is likely that people wouldn’t go for wolf as their first guess. 

He has been running for twenty minutes already and he’s not tired yet. His body seems to be trumming with energy and his mind spins with thoughts of Sehun. His beloved friend who means so much to him. They have been close for many years and Jongin cannot imagine a life without him. 

And that is the scary part. 

Jongin knows that he will have to tell Sehun. At some point he will have to. There is no way this will stay a secret. If Jongin doesn’t tell him their relationship will crumble. It is built on mutual trust, and keeping something like this secret will eventually end what they have. But at the same time, telling Sehun could also mean that their friendship is ruined. And even if they might still be just friends, even if that is statistically unlikely, it will not be the same. 

When Jongin gets back to his car and checks his phone he has a message from Sehun

wanna come over later? we could cook food

Jongin chuckles. Sehun loves to cook but hates cleaning up after. But he won’t say no to free food and possibly a lunchbox of leftovers. 

But more importantly, he can’t really say no to Sehun wanting to hang out. Even if a rational part of him asks if it is such a good idea after yesterday’s revelation. 

Sehun stationed Jongin at the chopping board while he runs around and does everything else. With a measuring cup he’s getting water and the kitchen smells of all the spices he just threw into the pan.

Jongin likes the way that Sehun cooks. It is always chaotic and he’s all over the place but it always turns out great. Jongin is more organized, which is why he usually is assigned the chopping and cutting tasks. He dices onion into neat squares, finely chops garlic and cuts lettuce into big, but not too big pieces. 

In a moment of calm, when Jongin has finished chopping the bell pepper and they wait for the stew to start boiling again so they can add it, Sehun nudges him with his elbow. 

“You okay?”

Jongin pretends to not know what he means and looks at him quizzically. 

“You seem a little distracted. You take a moment to laugh at my jokes, as if you have to process them.”

Jongin is not sure how to reply. The whole imprinting thing is like suddenly realizing that you have a huge crush. There is a lot to process, especially trying to understand what these new feelings mean. The only thing that makes this different from a crush is that Jongin knows that this is not something that will go away. This is a form of attachment that is permanent. And that somehow makes it even scarier.

He’s not ready to tell Sehun yet, just like he couldn’t imagine telling a crush about his feelings for them just days after realizing those feelings. It is still too fresh. 

But he also needs to say something.

He opts for being vague, because he can’t really come up with anything else right now.

“Yeah, there is something… but I don’t know if I can talk about it yet. Is it okay if I don’t?”

Sehun seems a little surprised. And he’s right to do so. They rarely, if ever, withhold stuff from each other. There is a level of trust between them that Jongin has never experienced with anyone else. He feels a little guilty for making Sehun feel like he doesn’t trust him. But Jongin is not ready to say it out loud yet. 

“Yeah… I mean, feel free to tell me when you are ready.” Sehun sounds a little put off. Like he doesn’t know how to respond. “Is this something with your community? Some wolf thing that I can’t know about?”

“Yeah, kind of…” Jongin says, because it’s the easiest.

Sehun shrugs as if to show that he is letting it go. 

After eating Sehun coaxes Jongin to do the dishes, and Jongin agrees on the condition that Sehun dries everything. 

After Jongin has washed the last things and pulled the plug on the drain he dries his hands and leans against the counter while waiting for Sehun to dry the last pot. 

He itches to reach out and touch Sehun. Jongin is usually pretty touchy and he hasn’t sought any physical contact since they saw each other the last time before the imprint. It’s been almost two weeks now. He is craving a hug from his best friend. But he is hesitant because he doesn’t know what will happen with his imprint if he does it. So now he’s just awkwardly standing there. 

Sehun knows him too well, though. After he’s put away the pot he wraps his arms around Jongin in a warm hug. 

“It’s gonna be fine. Everything is gonna be okay,” he says into Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin carefully hugs Sehun back. So far, so good. He hasn’t combusted from a rush of imprint induced hormones yet. “You’ve got me whenever you need me, nothing changes that,” Sehun continues, and rubs his hand on Jongin’s back. Oh, if he only knew, Jongin thinks, but he nods in response anyway. 

Over the following week Jongin’s mind starts to settle into this new normal. His body is no longer flushed with hormones and he has been able to start sorting through his thoughts. 

He and Sehun meet up on three occasions and Jongin is generally functioning as normal. Sehun doesn’t pressure him to tell him what’s going on in his head, but Jongin notices that Sehun seems more keen to attend to his needs than usual. It is a little endearing but it also makes Jongin’s heart clench. He really loves Sehun, at least as a friend. He has also realized that he wishes that he could hug and be physically closer to Sehun. He doesn’t think that there needs to be a romantic or sexual aspect to a relationship, if there were to be one, but he would probably need some sort of physical closeness. He can’t know for sure until he tries it out, of course, but he has started to really look forward to hugs from Sehun. Not to mention how tempting cuddling sounds. 

Had this been a regular crush, he might have kept it to himself for at least a couple weeks, but probably more like a few months, before telling the person. But knowing that this is not gonna go away, even if its nature might shift over time, and that it’s Sehun, he really ought to tell him.

He decides that he will tell Sehun about imprinting the following weekend. As soon as he decides he itches to get it over with at the same time as he’s dreading it even more than before.

Jongin struggles with deciding if inviting Sehun over is a good or a bad idea. The benefits are that it is a private space where they don’t have to worry about being overheard about shapeshifting and werewolf stuff, plus Sehun can leave at any moment. If they were to be at Sehun’s place Jongin would have to be the one to leave and it is possible that it would be hard for Sehun to tell him to do that. He would have to ask Jongin to leave, as compared to being at Jongin’s place where he could just leave without any explanation. However, a public space would have the benefit of being neutral territory... Argh! Why is this so hard?

In the end Jongin decides to invite Sehun over. It is probably the best option, and as long as it is not being-dumped-over-text-level-of-bad it should suffice, right?

Now he’s pacing, though. This does not feel great. Sehun is supposed to be the calm center in his world. The person that makes his day better, not the one that makes him an anxious mess. 

Sehun is going to be over in about ten minutes and Jongin can’t seem to find any way to stay occupied while waiting. 

Should he plan what to say? Then he probably should have started to think about that earlier. It seems a bit late now. So just go straight from the heart? Oh, no, that is too scary. But he has no other option now.

He forces himself to breathe deeply and in a moment of not knowing what to do with himself he lies down flat on his back on the floor in front of the sofa. For a moment it is a good distraction because he never does this and the change of perspective is new. But soon the anxious feelings come creeping back. What time is it? When will this wait be over? But does he actually want it to be over? Because that would mean that he would really have to be upfront with his feelings. And it could also mean the definite end of his and Sehun’s friendship.

“Oh no…” Jongin whispers. He doesn’t feel great. But he forces himself to breathe. Breathe in. Hold it. Breathe out. Hold. In. Hold. Out. Hold. I-

The doorbell chimes. Oh, fuck, Sehun is here.

Jongin briskly walks to the door to let Sehun in. Sehun is as cheery as always and smiles brightly. He seems a little taken aback by how frazzled Jongin is. 

“Are you gonna tell me what is going on?” he asks carefully, as if to not startle Jongin. Jongin thinks that he must come across as quite a wreck if that is Sehun’s initial reaction. 

“Yeah…” Jongin trails off. He doesn’t know how to do this.

Sehun seems to recognize that Jongin needs some help in his fidgety state. “Come on. Let’s sit down so you can unload whatever it is that burdens you.”

Jongin doesn’t know where to start, but when he sits next to Sehun on the couch, twisted so that they are kind of facing each other, and looks into Sehun’s eyes he knows he has to start somewhere. So that is what he does. 

“Something happened recently that I never really expected to happen. It’s a werewolf thing and I never thought to tell you about it because I didn’t think it would ever apply to me.” He lets out a little sigh. “There is this thing that sometimes happens to us that we call imprinting. In a way it is similar to what that term usually means, for example the bond that ducklings form with their parents when they hatch. But for us it’s usually something that happens when a strong bond forms to another person when we are teenagers or adults.”

Sehun nods. He seems to be on board so far. “But now you have imprinted on someone.” It isn’t even a question. Jongin nods anyway. 

“Why is this causing you distress?” Sehun asks gently. “I’m trying to understand.”

Jongin can’t look Sehun in the eyes as he continues. “In a way it is like having a crush. But you know for sure that it isn’t gonna go away. Imprinting is a permanent attachment. That doesn’t mean that the person being imprinted upon doesn’t have a say, though. Usually imprinting results in a committed relationship, or in cutting ties. On some occasions there have been platonic relationships as well but it isn’t very common.”

Sehun nods to show that he understands. “Why do people cut ties?”

“Because it is like one-sided soulmates, I guess would be the best way to describe it. Imagine feeling like you are two pieces of a puzzle but the other person doesn’t feel the same. For some people it is too painful to keep them around. Severing all ties to the person is easier.”

“And now you are worried that this will be the case for the person you have imprinted on.”

Sehun catches on too quickly. He can read Jongin like an open book so Jongin just nods quietly.

“How come you never told me about imprinting before?”

Jongin shrugs. “It’s not something I ever gave much thought. It’s not like puberty that everyone is expected to go through.”

“Okay, fair enough.” Sehun rearranges himself on the couch. He pulls up his legs and crosses them, facing Jongin straight on. He puts a hand on Jongin’s knee, which forces Jongin to look up at him. “I think there is more about this that bothers you.”

Jongin bites his lip. The hand on his knee feels comforting and frightening at the same time. He doesn’t want to lose Sehun. He needs him in his life but he is also not sure how much he is able to sacrifice for that. What he knows for sure is that keeping this a secret has not worked in their favor so far. He hasn’t been able to fully relax around Sehun since the imprint happened. 

He starts out very vague. “I happened to imprint on someone very important to me. And now I don’t know how that person is going to react. I am worried that I will lose them. I’m worried that this will scare them. I am also worried about asking them to consider me as potentially more than friends. I am worried about our friendship changing. I am also worried that I will crave more than they are willing to give, and that our friendship will break because of that. And I worry about this in particular because I still don’t know what I crave.”

Jongin’s heart is beating so fast. He doesn’t want to lose Sehun. He is too important!

“But you haven’t told this person yet.” Once again, not a question. 

Jongin feels like he is walking a paper thin edge between wanting to tell Sehun everything and not wanting him to ever know. And he doesn’t want to have to choose either of those options. But everything he says tests his balance on the edge and he’s about to tip and fall. 

“How about you try and put your faith in this person?”

A gentle nudge and Jongin feels himself leaning out over the abyss called confessing. Here he goes.

Quietly he squeaks, “It’s you, Sehun.”

After a moment that seems to last forever Jongin feels himself being pulled into a hug. He doesn’t know what to say but he slowly puts up his arms and hugs Sehun back. Sehun doesn’t say anything either. They hug for a little while before Sehun gently lets go.

“Thank you for confiding in me.” Jongin thinks that Sehun is too calm about this. Something is about to go wrong anytime now.

Sehun rubs at his neck and lets out an awkward laugh. “I was kind of guessing it was me just now. Or, I guess you could say I was hoping at least. I am not entirely sure what to do with this information but I am pretty flattered. I care about you, Jongin, and no one knows me as well as you do. If there were one friend whose confession I would take to heart I guess it is yours. But you will still have to let me think this through.” Sehun looks at Jongin, as if asking if that is okay.

Jongin is beyond relieved! He never would have hoped things would go this way. Granted, they are not out of the woods yet, but this is probably as well as it could have gone. Sehun is open to the possibility and he hasn’t left Jongin wounded with a crushed heart. There are so many ways this day could have turned into a disaster. He can’t stop himself from smiling.

“I can deal with that. I had all of the worst scenarios made up in my mind and anything that isn’t that is a win. Plus, I’ve had a couple weeks to think this over already.”

“When did you imprint? Is it something that comes creeping or does it happen in another way?” Sehun asks, as sharp as ever. 

“You remember that Saturday when I told you about the messed up situation with the council and the housing issues? It struck me right as I saw you when I opened the door.” 

“Aha. I thought you were acting weird, but I thought it was just the whole situation with the council.”

“Well, that too I guess. It didn’t really help.”

They go silent and Sehun just looks at Jongin for a moment.

“Thank you for telling me,” he begins. “I’ve been a little worried about you and it makes me feel a little bad that it’s been because of me.”

“It’s not your fault, Sehun. This would have been scary no matter who it was.”

Sehun smiles weakly.

“You mean a lot to me, Jongin, so I promise to carefully think this through.” It almost sounds like a promise in the way Sehun says it. Sehun’s reaction probably couldn’t have been better than this. Jongin feels hopeful about the future. As long as he doesn’t start wishing for a different type of closeness he doesn’t think that their relationship will be much different because of the imprinting. Sehun hasn’t seemed repulsed in any way, which makes hope sprout in Jongin’s chest. And if Jongin were to wish for a new type of intimacy it seems possible that they could work it out. At least there is hope now!

“Wanna watch a movie?” Jongin asks casually, attempting to show that things can be pretty much like normal.

“Yes!” Sehun suddenly seems very enthusiastic. “Can we see if we can find an action movie? I really feel like watching car chases and explosions right now!”

The movie they choose turns out to deliver in the areas of car chases and explosions, but it really lacks both plot and coherency. It’s fine though, because halfway through the movie Jongin has ended up cuddling Sehun’s side. They keep commenting on the flat characters and nonsensical decisions being made and laughs at the unbelievable action scenes where the protagonists manage to dodge dozens of bullets but kills every enemy with just a couple shots each. 

Sehun did say that he would have to think over the imprinting, but from the way they have ended up on the couch Jongin is guessing that Sehun already has made a general decision. Jongin will of course let Sehun have some space to consider pros and cons whenever he needs to, but the future seems hopeful.

**Author's Note:**

> yes they do get together in the end
> 
> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/flyingothorizon)!


End file.
